How Much Is Enough?

"Do no homeschooling parents worry if their children are doing enough?" This question, asked yesterday by a mom on an email support group, has stubbornly stayed in my mind every spare minute. I may not be able to speak for anyone other than myself, but I can declare that I have worried about doing enough every week of my life since I began educating my children. I am grateful for my concerns because they ensure that I am always striving to do better rather than being satisfied with where I am.

The first place I look when I wonder how much I should be doing is the people around me. However, comparisons are fraught with difficulties, so this should be the last place I look. I suspect that most people do not exactly give the truth when asked how much they do, and not because they are intentionally dishonest. I too am guilty of this, as I find myself relating what we do in an ideal week, when the ideal rarely happens. My plans mix with the actual in my enthusiasm for homeschooling, and I express my idealistic wishes even though they float on the air like dandelion seeds until finally settling and taking root in the hard dirt of reality. Then somehow when I listen to other moms telling me what they do, I forget all this, compare my weaknesses to their strengths, and wind up feeling inadequate. I do this with my sister Johanna all the time, who fortunately always reassures me that I am actually doing more than I think.

How do I decide if I'm doing enough? In public school jargon, students with learning difficulties have IEPs, or Individualized Education Programs. I consider it unfortunate that they are not a component of the education of each student. The best education would naturally consider the strengths, interests, and challenges of each student, a virtual impossibility for a large school system but something I hope lies within my grasp as a mother and educator. These are the factors I consider as I decide how much each of my children should do:

• The amount of material I intend to cover
• My personal priorities
• The age of my child
• My child's ability to concentrate
• My child's progression
• My child's interests
• What I can handle

I start with how much I intend to cover. For some subjects, the answer comes easily. If I intend my child to finish one math book during the course of the year, I figure out how much needs to be completed each day to reach that goal. These objectives are not set in stone. One of my daughters has found it extremely difficult to finish her math assignments each day, so I have decided that finishing the book over the summer or next fall is appropriate in her case. On the other hand, my 7-year-old son Jack finds math easy and fun. He has skipped ahead some and will end up completing two books this year. It is also not necessary for the child to complete every problem on every page, but they should demonstrate mastery of the material. I also like to give myself wiggle room, so I schedule the year so we only have to do four days of math a week, and then we try to do five days anyway. Homeschooling without some kind of target feels aimless to me, so I always try to schedule out the school year and operate backwards from that deadline rather than just considering the individual days.

For elementary-age children, I prioritize the three R's over all other subjects. As long as we spend time on reading, writing, and math each day, I consider it adequate. This is because an older child who has strong skills in these areas will be able to compensate for deficient knowledge in things like history or science and "catch up," but a person weak in these areas will continue to suffer. People who can read well can teach themselves practically anything. Mathematical problem solving is necessary for understanding personal finance and science. Of the three R's, though, I consider writing to be the capstone. Expressing thoughts in writing is a complex endeavor that is part of most careers. Elementary school practice in the physical mechanics of writing and familiarity with the structure of our language lays the foundation for more involved writing projects later.

The amount of schoolwork my children do varies greatly by age. My 3-year-old son spends about half an hour doing "schoolwork" with me, which mostly consists of games involving letters, numbers, and reading. My 7-year-old son spends about 2-3 hours a day on math, writing in his journal, practicing the piano, and reading, while my 10-year-old son also does some Spanish, practices the cello, and history, about an additional hour. At the high end, my 12 and 14-year-old daughters spend about 8 hours a day doing schoolwork that includes grammar, vocabulary, literature, math, biology, history, Spanish, music practice, and writing. Finally, my 17-month-old daughter spends every waking minute interfering with everyone's ability to concentrate.

Shinichi Suzuki said, "when the child looks up, the lesson is over." I try to gauge my children's ability to concentrate and stop at a point where they are not overly tired or distracted. This increases with time. All of my children, when they began playing the piano, could only practice for about 5 or 10 minutes at one sitting. As their ability to play increased, so did their ability to concentrate, and we could practice longer. My goal is to help them gain the skill of concentration, and I try to be persistent but not rushed in our efforts.

If my children are progressing and improving academically, I consider that a sign that we are doing enough. I consider part of progress to be enthusiasm for learning that grows rather than decreases with time because they will continue to learn throughout their lives with a positive attitude and a good foundation.

When a child displays an affinity for a particular subject, pursuing it with more vigor should be the natural result. We all have to choose because no one can become an expert in everything. These individual differences are one of the reasons why comparing one child or family to others doesn't usually help.

Finally, I remember that I shouldn't run faster than I have strength. I have to admit that the dirt of reality might be hard and unpleasant, but seeds don't take root and grow in the air. I have to accept myself and my current limitations, but I do allow myself to work hard and continue to watch my dreams float off into the air.